When I last posted on this blog I talked about how great it was to make a commitment to do some practice everyday because it assured me that, even when life gets overwhelming, I would take at least 15 minutes for some meditation.
Well, last weekend ended up being emotionally exhausting. I spent Saturday hungover and Sunday in premenstrual tears. I did rally enough to go to superbowl party!
Throughout the weekend, I kept thinking – I need to do some practice, what I am I going to write in my log? I did some sun salutations, I started trying to meditate- maybe five minutes if I am going to be generous.
Here is the worst thing….I considered lying on the log. Well, I mean not really lying, just a little exaggerating. When I caught myself having those thoughts I realized this was the yoga lesson of the weekend. What was worrying me? Was I ashamed? Did I feel like I had failed? That I would be judged? How I could I work at letting that go? At accepting what was, what is, and starting again? Our yoga practices allow us to pay attention to thoughts and feelings in a way that though, hard and challenging, is deeply rewarding. One of the hardest things in the Ashtanga practice is accepting where one is at, not feeling like a failure when struggling to bind, or jump through, or drop back…I think harder than doing any of the postures is being able to see those emotions come and let them go.
So, you see. I did practice after all.